Last month I had dinner with a colleague who asserted, “Men are never too old to think about their penises.” She then relayed the story of her uncle on his deathbed, seemingly incoherent and unresponsive. In what seemed like his final minute, his longtime nurse leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Tony, I’ll go to bed with you now.”
Suddenly Uncle Tony was wide-eyed, looked all around, rested his gaze upon his nurse and smiled. For five minutes he seemed revived then, just as suddenly as he came to life, his life ended. The story stuck with me as I found myself thinking about it frequently.
I was at water aerobics class last week when an old man, about 85, walked out into the pool area, fully dressed with hat and jacket to keep the morning chill off him. He walked with a slow gait, almost a shuffle, and his right arm in a sling. Add to that he was a bit hunched over and didn't really look at anyone or anything, just walked up and down the length of the pool to get a bit of fresh air.
A woman in my class was getting chilled and decided she had had enough. At about 85 herself, she's a spry old gal, with a typical body of an 85 year-old woman, a little saggy here and there, with some cellulite and veins noticeable in her legs, but very comfortable in her body.
Suddenly I found myself thinking about Uncle Tony and wondered, “Will that old man sneak a peek at her as she walks by?” I jogged along with the class, never taking my eyes off the old man and the woman about to walk right in front of him. She hurried past him as he walked her way, but he remained hunched and seemingly unaware of her, yet looking straight in her direction. She headed toward the door, but he kept walking as if determined not to notice her. Just when I was about to give up on him, he turned as the woman neared the door. Abruptly, he was staring, never taking his eyes off her as she reached for the door handle, glided through the door and into the locker room.
"Ah ha," I said to myself. "My friend is right about these old guys!"
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